Questions & answers
At Wairarapa Rape & Sexual Abuse Collective, we understand that there are many questions and misconceptions surrounding consent, sexual assault, and the law. This page provides answers to some of the most common questions we receive. Remember, if you have further concerns or need personalized advice, please reach out to our team for support.
Common Questions
If my partner is asleep or passed out, can we still have sex?
No. If your partner is unconscious in any way, they cannot give consent to sexual activity. This is true even if they had agreed to it before falling asleep or passing out, you cannot pre-book consent. Consent must be given clearly and voluntarily at the time of sexual activity.
My partner said we can have sex after the party, but then changed their mind; is this consent?
No, this is not consent. You cannot pre-book consent, and anyone has the right to change their mind at any time. Consent must be clear, enthusiastic, and continuous. If someone says no or withdraws consent at any point, the activity must stop immediately.
A 15-year-old consented to having sex with a 50-year-old in exchange for a new phone; is this legal?
No, this is illegal. A 15-year-old is not legally able to consent to sexual activity regardless of the age of the other person. Any sexual activity with a minor is considered statutory rape, regardless of the minor's willingness or agreement.
A 25-year-old consented to having sex with a 50-year-old in exchange for a new phone; is this legal?
Yes, this is legal, as both parties are adults and able to consent. However, clear communication about expectations, boundaries, and consent should always take place between both parties.
If a 16-year-old has sex with their 15-year-old partner, will they get into trouble even if they both consented?
If this situation comes to the attention of the police, it may be investigated. These cases are handled on a case-by-case basis, as the law around sexual consent between minors varies depending on the specific circumstances and ages involved. It’s essential to be aware of the age of consent laws in your region.
If someone makes a false rape allegation, can they get into trouble?
Yes, false allegations of rape are a serious matter. While rape and sexual abuse allegations are always taken seriously, if it is proven that the allegation is false, the person making the false claim can face criminal charges. It's important to note that false allegations are rare, and survivors should be supported in coming forward with their experiences.
If I decide to go to the police about rape or sexual abuse, what evidence do I need?
You do not need physical evidence to speak with the police. Your testimony and your story are powerful evidence in itself. The police will conduct an investigation and have procedures in place to handle the case. If you've been assaulted recently, evidence may be gathered through a forensic medical examination. For more details, see the section on After Sexual Assault.
Is it legal to send nudes to others, or have nudes of others in my phone?
Sending nudes: You can send nudes if the other person has consented to receiving them and is not a minor.
Receiving or having nudes: It’s legal to have nudes on your phone if the person who sent them to you is consenting to share their own image. However, it is illegal to have nudes that were shared without the sender’s consent.
Sharing nudes: It’s illegal to share nudes you have received if the other person has not explicitly consented to you sharing their photos. It is important to respect others' privacy and not share intimate content without permission.
Will I get into trouble if I was underage drinking and got raped?
No, you will not get into trouble for being a victim of rape or sexual abuse, even if you were drinking underage. The perpetrator is responsible for their actions. Police take rape and sexual abuse very seriously, and you have the right to report the crime regardless of any illegal activities you may have been involved in.
We understand that the issues of consent, sexual violence, and the law can be complex and overwhelming. If you need further clarification or support, please don’t hesitate to contact us. You are not alone, support is available, and we’re here to help guide you through the process.
24/7 Crisis Line: 0800 614 614
Email: coordinator@wairarapa-rapecrisis.org.nz
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Contact
Floor 3 Departmental Building, 35-37 Chapel Street, Masterton
0800 614 614 (24/7)
06 370 8446
Office hours 8.30 AM - 2.30 PM Monday - Friday, please call as appointments are preferred