Information for Whānau and Friends
If someone you care about has experienced rape or sexual abuse, your support can make a real difference. This page is here to help you understand what they might be going through, and how to be there for them in a safe, supportive way.
what survivors might be feeling
Survivors can react in many different ways, there’s no “right” or “normal” response. They may seem withdrawn, anxious, angry, numb, or overwhelmed. Some people might talk about their experience right away, while others may not share it for weeks, months or even years.
Your role is not to “fix” them, it’s to be a steady, safe presence.
we’re here for you too
Supporting a survivor can be tough. You don’t have to do it alone. Our team can listen and support you as well.
how to support someone you care about
Here are a few simple, meaningful ways you can show support:
Listen without judgement
Let them speak freely—believe them, and don’t interrupt with questions or doubt.
Validate their feelings
Phrases like “That must have been really hard” or “I’m so sorry this happened to you” can go a long way.
Respect their pace
Let them decide what to share, what support they need, and when. Don’t push.
Keep their privacy
Don’t share their experience with others unless they give permission.
Ask what they need
Offer options like driving them to an appointment, helping with everyday tasks, or just sitting with them
Get support for yourself
It’s okay to feel upset or unsure. You can’t pour from an empty cup, reach out if you need help too.
Avoid these unhelpful responses
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“Were you drinking?”
“You should go to the police.”
“Let’s just move on.”
Are you ready to take the next step?
Contact
Floor 3 Departmental Building, 35-37 Chapel Street, Masterton
0800 614 614 (24/7)
06 370 8446
Office hours 8.30 AM - 2.30 PM Monday - Friday, please call as appointments are preferred